Today, I received a request from my bright young cousin (who will be joining College soon) to help her by sharing a few learnings about the best ways to conduct 'self' in a new college. So, if you are also going to a new place in some time, then this post is for you — Please read on…
Whatever I share with you – You’ll find it valid right through the next 2/3 years and even beyond.
May you
'Rise and Shine' one hundred percent at the new place. My Dil-Say wish for you and a few recommendations further:-
1) Accept your College
Yes it could have been better. But now that you could not — ACCEPT IT. Try to make the best out of 'what you have been given by destiny'. Do not CRIB that you were meant for bigger and better Colleges. "Jo cheez Toot nahin Sakti- usko pighlao mat". Just Accept it.
2) Value each and every hour at the College
Trust me these coming years at your college will never happen again. This is possibly your very best chance to change yourself for doing 'bigger and better things'. Prepare yourself for a 'fantastic life ahead'.
I will want you to do this small exercise. Meet and spend time with some 10 seniors of yours. See what they do and 'How did they spend their last few years' in the campus. Ask yourself then- 'Do you wish to be like them'.
Also, I will want you to come out as a more firm personality by doing at least a few newer things very well.
You must prefer learning newer hobbies and mastering a few of them than wasting away your time in indecision and in day dreaming.
Prefer making a thousand mistakes rather than simply passing out as a vanilla ice cream.
3) Haule - Haule, Paule - Paule, ThaLe - ThaLe
Do not start on a very high energy (showing your hyper excitement about being a part of a new place). Usually people who start with a very high energy — fall down with a more high energy within a few months.
Jo zyaada uchalte hain, wahi fisalte hain. So, start on a balanced energy.
It is OK, if you have made it to a good place but so have others out there. Do not portray this image that —'
I am the real cool guy / girl out here' or '
MAIN HOON DON'. Go slow. Slow is better than fast.
For e.g. Do not exhaust promenading all your new clothes within the first few days only :).
The new found independence is really liberating especially when it comes to aspects which you have always wanted to but never explored. Do it; but do it slowly. Water looks good when it falls as pleasant rain and the same water becomes a hell when you stand under a powerful fountain. It hurts. So! Go slow, especially in the beginning.
4) Aek Chup, Hazaar Sukh
Reduce your talk time to 1/3rd (although your new environment will induce it to triple it and you are very vulnerable). '
A professional smile' is the code to many situations which you will not like. No one actually is interested in your stories. No one remembers the details of what you’ll say.
They will remember only – 'How did you make them feel'? Work on making people 'FEEL' through your matured, friendly and genuine gestures (preferred) and talks.
The deepest of all "Human needs / hungers" is the 'want / desire to be LISTENED TO'. So, be a warm Listener. Doing this can win you many a situation and people. The best ability that one could work towards having in the modern and new setup is 'The ability to FEEL and LOOK RELAXED'.
5) No point being a Sodium / Potassium
Reduce your reactions to people and situations to 1/10th. (I mean a smarter, calmer assertiveness). Try a different code: 'Don’t react but smile'. I find most of the people either 'Reacting' or 'Over reacting'.
One reason for Sachin Tendulkar doing well – I see is his habit to not to react to people or controversies. He saves his energy. I see a lesson!!!
6) "Kya Kahengay LOG" — Sabse Badaa ROG
Do not talk about people, discuss them or comment upon them, else it will take 3-4 months only for everything to go haywire. Give everyone the impression that you like them (
TU MUJHE QUBOOL, MAIN TUJHE QUBOOL), even if the other person is the biggest idiot according to you. Within the first month, 'PEOPLE GROUPS' will begin to get formed in the institute. These groups will disintegrate at a higher speed than the one at which they got formed.
So, what are the lessons
1) Do not share your intimate stuff with people around initially.
2) Do not bitch about people to others. No critic has ever changed the world.
Whenever you begin to feel that you are becoming a part of a particular group — khisak lo. People who have fewer 'people issues' are likely to succeed more. Look around you and you shall understand the point. If you are not adaptive enough, you are bound to have people issues. Work consciously and regularly on your personality to Accept and Adapt. A man of wisdom lives in the world, enjoys the world. If you want love, be lovable.
Further, at the new place, you are likely to spend much energy on impressing people and in getting impressed. Trust me, the entire acts of doing this will be hopelessly pointless. A mind is a terrible thing to waste especially on people, who wouldn’t even matter after a few years.
7) Laser Sharp Focus
Make Dossiers (files) on all subjects. They will come handy even after 10 years. Do a
Business Newspaper for at least 1 hour everyday. Learn
Finance – the machinery on which the world operates. Start realizing and working towards your field as early as possible. Start connecting all your actions towards that and make other things secondary.
Wo kaam hee kyun karna jisko shayad karne kee zaroorat hee nahin hai.
8 ) P.S. -- 'I Love You'
Gases react more in rarified atmosphere and we react more in girl-ified/ boy-ified atmosphere, I mean relationships will JUST HAPPEN THERE. You will fall in love more easily and more frequently and everytime it will feel like PEHLA PEHLA PYAAR HAI. Reasons :-
1) The atmosphere of a good institute is fiercely competitive and this results in people wishing to have someone at the end of the day to share self.
2) A simple reason that — I WANT SOMEONE AT THAT POSITION of a Boyfriend / Girlfriend.
Let not your 'FOCUS' about Career and Life get upstaged by 'Relationship issues'. That will be a full blooded tragedy.
Do not be ONLY worried about Placements.
Apni Aukaat Badhao — Company waale apne aap Dulhaniya Le jaayegay.
REMEMBER, TOTAL ACCOUNTING:
It is a new place and you have worked hard to be here. ENJOY it fully. Make mistakes but do not repeat them.
Pankhon ko hawaa jaraa si lagne do
Uljhay nahin to kaisey suljhogay ;
bikharey nahin to kaisey Nikharogay
Udney do !!!
My sincere best wishes... Rise and Shine !!!
Share it with your friend who is joining or has joined a new institute.
SHARING is CARING.
